my angel in waiting

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by ThaCake (Not the best, just better than you.) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 11:53:28

ANGEL IN WAITING
By Kayla Rollison

A butterfly feebly fluttering its wings.
A beautiful song that will never sing.
A shooting star falling rapidly from the sky.
A baby bird with no chance to fly.

A majestic mountain crumbling to the ground.
A treasure I'm loosing as soon as she was found.
A diamond that wasn't cut out for this world.
The weakened heartbeat of my little girl.

A love torn apart that was just discovered.
The lost joys of being a mother.
A sun's futile attempts to break free and rise.
The light in her eyes fading despite our tries.

The lost faith in an unansered prayer.
The devistation of an event I cannot bare.
The unability to help her.
My failure as her mother to heal her hurt.

An extinguishing life that I cannot save.
Breaking the promise of life I gave.
The crying, the pain, the pleading, the shaking.
That I endure as I fear for the life of my angel in waiting.

Post 2 by metal angel (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 12:18:52

dam! I can feel the emotions pouring out of you, can feel them comeing off the page like lightning at my face.
I'm guessing you've tried to have(or are currently) having a child or children and lost one or all? If so I'm sorry. very good writing.

Post 3 by ThaCake (Not the best, just better than you.) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 12:21:51

no not trying to have children but there is a loss there. R.I.P Cheyyenne Naiomi

Post 4 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 16:31:10

Excellent, excellent metaphors! Nice rhythm and rhyme scheme.